One Step

cropped-long-climb4.jpgIt’s just around the corner, 5 more seconds, you’re so close, you’re almost there, let’s go up to the next landing, we’ve already come this far…

These are the words that kept me going. The first I can remember was when I was in 3rd grade and I was hanging straight armed on the pull up bar trying to hang on long enough to qualify for the Presidential Physical Fitness award. I told the person in charge of monitoring that I was too weak and wouldn’t be able to last. She was a heavy set woman and her smile was life giving. This was my 2nd try. There I was hanging and said I have to let go. I looked at her and she smiled that smile and told me I could do it and that I only had 5 more seconds to go. Her next words: she told me I did it- I could let go. What I found out later is that I really only had 2 seconds to go. I let go and she swooped me up into her big smushy hug. It felt like I was being wrapped in a pillow of love. I will never forget that hug and her encouragement. I was also the proud recipient of the Presidential Physical Fitness Award.

The picture you see here was the, “let’s just make it to the next landing”. Well about 15 more “just to the next landings” we arrived at what we thought would be the top. It was a long steep climb that offered bits of relief as the path leveled out along the way. What you can’t see and what we didn’t know about was after we arrived at the supposed top it appeared that just around the bend we would arrive at the top.  It was about another 15 “just around the bends” and several steep climbs Later that we finally arrived at the top. Oh my goodness-the reward was so amazing. I was so captivated that I forgot to take pictures.

Another journey was to a waterfall. I LOVE anything that involves water so off we went. Ok, so I’m going to be very transparent here. I love nature but I have a very healthy respect for it. We got a bit of a late start and it was around 4pm. As we got deeper into the woods and farther from the safety of a shelter I began to think it must be about feeding time for the critters. I figured I probably looked like a good meal since I had too much meat on my bones. So just as I was thinking about giving my husband the alert that we better head back because “it is going to be getting dark soon” a spry smiling couple walked by and told us we were almost there. We kept going and the “almost there” was like 2 and a half miles away. I learned that day that “almost there” is a relative term. But…when we got to the waterfall, I was so grateful for the words they spoke that kept me going to the beauty I beheld at the waterfall. Of course I did pick up a pretty good sized “walking stick”for the walk back to protect me from the hungry critters.

I’m so grateful for these experiences and others like it because for the most part it is myself  and my faith that keeps me taking that “one more step”. The people in my life tend to be very black and white, very logical, very “got it all together” people and they really don’t understand what it’s like to live with anxiety. How that what appears to be life or death for me is just a mere blink for them.

I am here at my “one more step” moment in life and will keep taking that one more step, make it to one more landing, go around the next bend, walking for the “almost there” and hang on for 5 more seconds because it has always brought reward and beauty beyond anything I could comprehend. That is my hope and my prayer today.

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