I’ve been on both sides of addiction.
Kids of friends have died.
I have frantically searched for money to feed the nagging pain of going too long without.
I have scraped grinders trying to get any remnants-just enough to get that feeling.
I have experienced intense fear, wondering if I’m going to die or get caught. Will I get arrested and end up in jail.
Paranoia-what are you looking at- do you know that I am high?
Why is he late-is he alive, did he overdose, is he coming home?
Driving all over hell and back trying to find him.
Is she sleeping-is she breathing.
Crazy, insane, anxiety ridden world of addictions.
Addictions are not referring just to chemicals; they can also be behaviors and lifestyles. Psychology Today, “Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (gambling) that can be pleasurable but the continued use of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work or relationships, even health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others.”
The world of addictions can be a very lonely, fearful place even when involved in recovery programs, community groups and living in the addiction itself. We fool ourselves if we ever believe the lie that we can do it ourselves or that we don’t want any help or that well, it really isn’t my problem so I don’t have to concern myself.
In this blog I hope to include stories from myself and eventually others that will impact your life and your decisions with regard to your current or potential recovery and/or that of someone you know.
Maybe you will read a story that sounds familiar or maybe you would like to submit a story for others to read.
I won’t be focusing on any particular program of recovery. I realize that just as each individual is unique in their character makeup so too is their response to various forms of recovery methods.